Yesterday I uploaded my resume and started applying for jobs on Monster.com. After applying to over a dozen prestigious financial institutions I came to find that I wasn't sharing my resume with them, instead i uploaded my little sister's poem on kittens by mistake.

So my cousins and I crash in their basement after hookah and beers. They complain the night light is too bright and put a towel over it. We start smelling some smoke and think it's from our clothes and hookah. The smoke alarm goes off and my cousin, in a state of hysteria throws the smoke alarm into the refrigerator. How in the world could that help? Then the house alarm goes off. My cousin, thinking its another smoke alarm, starts waving a towel around like an idiot until we realize its the house alarm and they had put in the wrong password.

I just spent twenty minutes arguing with another developer about some strange quirk in PHP 5. He vehemently asserted that I was just doin' it wrong, but in the end...he realized that it was in face strange, conceded that I was right, and then signed off. The punchline - Not sure which is worse...the fact that I was right about something as dorky as the nuances of PHP 5...or the fact that I spent TWENTY MINUTES arguing about something as dorky as the nuances of PHP 5...srsly

At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward question to answer:
"If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?"
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay aboard. With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.

So I am chatting online on yahoo and I meet this chic.. she was 19 from Savannah, GA. Had long hair, black eyes, tan skin and she sounded HOT. So i sent my pic, After 2 minutes, I Hear rambling in my house.. It was my sister who came up to tell me.. You f******** pervert !

While working on an important project for a client and frustrated with the code. I accidentally left some debug code in place when I gave it back to the client. The debug code was "Venture media is full of retards"...I guess you can figure out who the client was

I recently noticed a rule that I had set on my exchange server which cc's my boss on all the emails that I send out. I have been job hunting using that email address for past 2 weeks now.

I work at a tech support call center. I received a phone call about this person's cup holder not working properly. I responded saying that I think you have the wrong support line. The person responded saying that they have the right number as its a computer related problem since it is the computer's cup holder that comes out when the button is pressed. They were talking about the CD Drive!!

Well, here's my dork story .. and trust me I have plenty. So one night my boyfriend and I are talking on the phone getting intimate and he says lets play on the web cam. In the moment, I turn it on and tell him to get started I'll be right back, unfortunately I didn't minimize my screen and my mom walked in and saw him jackin off ... That was it for our web cam fun !!

Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"