I shut down the computer so the Windows updates would install. When I tried to turn the computer back on it wouldn't work. I called the store I bought it from thinking maybe they could troubleshoot over phone. They had me unplug everything and try a few things but nothing helped. I also talked to a couple of friends but still couldn't get it working. I was resigned to the fact that I would have to take it in for repair, when out of the corner of my eye I saw that I had in fact been pressing the cd drive instead of the power button.

I recently noticed a rule that I had set on my exchange server which cc's my boss on all the emails that I send out. I have been job hunting using that email address for past 2 weeks now.

Today while doing paperwork I needed to do some calculations. The office phone and adding machine are right next to each other, and while turned away I started to punch numbers. Unfortunately the phone doesn't function the same way the adding machine does...

So my cousin was trying to get her license. She has driven for about 2 years but wanted to refresh her memory and get more experience. I was sitting in the back seat. My uncle was showing her the gear system. So my uncle goes, Take it for a ride.. She revs the engine while the gear is on "P". My uncle goes, wtf are you doing ? She goes, Driving. He tells her to let go off the accelerator. He goes, What's "P" stand for. She answered, "PROCEED". "R" for "REST" . This one was the best, "D" for "DEVELOPED"

Well, here's my dork story .. and trust me I have plenty. So one night my boyfriend and I are talking on the phone getting intimate and he says lets play on the web cam. In the moment, I turn it on and tell him to get started I'll be right back, unfortunately I didn't minimize my screen and my mom walked in and saw him jackin off ... That was it for our web cam fun !!

Man, Do i f****** hate the IPHONE right now. I wanted to write a text message and chose the contact as Mom instead of Monique and the text message was as follows, " How about that BJ tonight ? "

While working on an important project for a client and frustrated with the code. I accidentally left some debug code in place when I gave it back to the client. The debug code was "Venture media is full of retards"...I guess you can figure out who the client was

So I lost my blackberry today. I didn't have my enterprise server nor the password set on it. Remembered that I had naked pics of my girl friend and several videos of her stripping naked for me. Lets hope no one posts it online or I AM DEAD MEAT ! Now, I know better !

I wanted to buy a CD player, but was completely perplexed by one model's promotional sign. So I called the sales clerk over and asked, "What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?"
He said, "That means that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal."
"In other words," I said, "this CD player plays CDs."
"Exactly."

Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"